The new horrors
by Yumi Hinasaki
Summary: Set after Gensoukai and Kamakura. After Tsuzuki and Hisoka return back to Meifu things slowly go from bad to worse. Hisoka's life is in danger. Will Tsuzuki and a mysterious child named Hiroki be able to save him? TsuSoka, will contain yaoi.
1. After Gensoukai

"_Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa. Itsu, itsu, deyaru? Yoake no ban ni. Tsuru to kame to subetta. Ushiro no shoumen dare?"_

(Translates to- Kagome, kagome, the bird in the cage, when will you come out? In the evening of the dawn, the crane and turtle is that behind you?)

Those nightmares continued to haunt Hisoka even after him and Tsuzuki had left Gensoukai. He could hear the children's voices as they played Kagome, kagome. Hisoka couldn't help feeling uneasy and nervous. He still remembered when he had come back from Gensoukai after he lost Riko. Somehow Tsuzuki had found out about it and came to check on him. Hisoka was just sitting there staring into space.

"Hey Hisoka." Hisoka turned around in surprise. "Oh Tsuzuki I didn't notice you." "I heard about what happened with Riko. Are you alright?" "Yes, yes I'm fine you don't have to be so worried." "You're lying. You're blaming yourself and keeping it all locked up inside you. Hisoka if you carry on like this you will get seriously ill." "No I'm not alright okay? My first Shikigami and I managed to completely screw it up. He gave his life for me Tsuzuki even though I was a fool I should have listened to you and now- and now- I'll never be able to become powerful! I'll never be a good enough person to protect you! What good am I? What the hell sort of use am I to you like this?"

"Hisoka it's okay, you made a mistake tons of people do. Don't beat yourself up so hard about it. You are strong Hisoka after all you are the one who helped me when I went through my suicidal stage you were the one who brought me out of it. You pulled me out of the flames and clung onto me without letting go. You are strong please believe me." Hisoka tried to hold back the tears but he couldn't help it. He started sobbing right in front of Tsuzuki and he completely fell apart.

Tsuzuki pulled Hisoka into his arms stroking his hair gently. "Don't feel like you have to hold it in anymore Hisoka. When you're sad or nervous you can come to me and I'll comfort you. I'll assure you all you have to do is reach out to me and I'll pick you up off the ground. You're not alone anymore Hisoka." "Tsuzuki..." Hisoka kept on crying until he eventually grew tired and fell asleep. Tsuzuki tucked Hisoka up and kissed his forehead, wiping away the traces of the tears. "Goodnight Hisoka I hope you get a good nights rest."

After a couple of hours Hisoka began to dream. He began to cry out in his sleep. Tsuzuki was getting a drink when he heard the shouts. "No! No! I don't want to go back in there! No! Don't make me go back in there! NOOO!" Tsuzuki ran up the stairs to see to him. He saw Hisoka struggling in his sleep crying. "Hisoka! Hisoka! It's alright Hisoka!" "No I'm scared I don't want to go back in there never again! I'll be good I promise I won't ever use my powers again, just please let me out! I beg you!" Tsuzuki realized Hisoka was dreaming of being in the cell again.

"Hisoka it's alright you are not in the cell anymore you escaped from that life! Don't you remember?" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I know I've done something wrong again but please forgive me!" "I forgive you. I forgive you Hisoka. You never did anything wrong but even so I'll still forgive you." At that Hisoka calmed down and opened his eyes "My head..." He gasped in pain. Tsuzuki walked up to him and embraced him. "Tsu-Tsuzuki whatever is the matter?" "Forgive me for not being able to help you when you were alone in that cell. Forgive me!" "Why are you apologizing? That wasn't your fault it was my fault." "No Hisoka it wasn't your fault you couldn't help it. You were crying and begging for forgiveness in your sleep saying you didn't want to go back into the cell again. Did you always have to apologize like that when you were locked in there?"

"Yes they wouldn't let me out until I apologized enough to make them satisfied. Whenever I was caught using my empathy I was locked in there and forced to apologize until they decided to let me out and normally it would take me about a day to be let out." Tsuzuki gasped in horror at this revelation. 'How could someone do that to their own child? It's unthinkable!' Hisoka smiled very weakly. "Thank you Tsuzuki I do appreciate that you care about me but it isn't worth getting angry about it now."

"What do you mean it's not worth getting angry over? Hisoka that's child abuse! You never deserved to go through any of that!" Hisoka rested his head against Tsuzuki's chest and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "F-for now would you just hold me like this? I just want to be reassured." Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around him again and held him tightly to his chest so Hisoka's face was completely buried into his shirt. "I'll keep you safe Hisoka I promise." Tsuzuki whispered. Hisoka replied by tightening his grip.

Hisoka fell asleep again against Tsuzuki's chest but Tsuzuki didn't mind if this would have reassured the boy then he was happy to let him sleep like that as much as he needed. He couldn't help but feel concerned for him after everything that had happened Hisoka seemed to be suffering from a stress related disorder. Tsuzuki started nodding off and right before he did he thought he could see a shadow of a young child at the edge of the bed which vanished in an instant Tsuzuki thought nothing of it and fell asleep.

Neither could anticipate the kind of horrors that awaited them...


	2. Apologies

"_I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know. 'I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is you. _

_I'm sorry that I hurt you it's something I must live with everyday. And all the pain I put you through; I wish that I could take it all away and be the one who catches all your tears. That's why I need you to hear. I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is you, and the reason is you. And the reason is you, and the reason is you._

_I'm not a perfect person. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know. I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is you. I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know. A reason for all that I do. And the reason is you..."_

(The reason by Hoobastank)

Tsuzuki was worried. Hisoka wasn't acting his normal self. He seemed to be weak on his feet. But he had insisted he was fine so Tsuzuki dropped it. They were assigned a new case where three people had gone missing in Nagasaki from the same block of flats. All young women who knew each other. No bodies were found. They went there to check it out.

They started off talking to the families of the young women but all they knew was they had gone on a night out and none of the three women had returned home neither and they were not answering their phones. A witness saw them leave but nobody else saw them anywhere else. Tsuzuki suspected a man was behind this. Hisoka agreed. And they knew it probably wasn't Muraki either because no bodies were found.

To Tsuzuki it seemed like a typical kidnapping case all they had to hope for was there would be a new sighting of all three of the women. Hisoka was very quiet the whole time and Tsuzuki couldn't help but worry. He suggested they call it a night and they headed to the hotel they were staying in. Hisoka barely touched his food he claimed he wasn't hungry. Tsuzuki was really worried by now because Hisoka would at least try and eat it but he hadn't he was just fiddling around with it.

"Hisoka are you feeling alright?" Tsuzuki asked. "I'm fine Tsuzuki I'm not a child I can deal with it." Tsuzuki knew otherwise he knew Hisoka was suffering from horrific nightmares he knew that he sometimes still thought he was living with his parents enduring the psychical and verbal abuse. Tsuzuki knew that Hisoka was not alright. And he wanted to help him because he didn't want to see Hisoka in pain. They got up and left the restaurant. As they got to the door Hisoka clutched his head and collapsed. "HISOKA!" Tsuzuki shouted.

Tsuzuki found that Hisoka had a high temperature. 'Damn it how long has he been feeling like this?' Tsuzuki questioned. He found a cloth and began soaking it in cold water placing it on Hisoka's forehead. 'Hang in there Hisoka I'll help you.' Tsuzuki promised. He stayed by Hisoka's side most of the night monitoring his temperature.

The next morning Tsuzuki decided to continue with the case deciding Hisoka was too ill to do anything at that moment. So he left a note saying where he was, a glass of water and a slice of toast on Hisoka's bed table, then he soaked the cloth again and kissed Hisoka on the top of his head. "I'll be back soon I promise." He mumbled. Hisoka woke up sometime after twelve instead of resting like Tsuzuki ordered he decided to go out and help with the case.

When Tsuzuki returned he found that Hisoka was gone. He knew instantly that Hisoka was going to help with the case; he knew how stubborn that kid could be. He was going to have to reprimand him even though he hated doing that. He just wanted Hisoka to get some rest he didn't want him up and about when he was so ill. But this was Hisoka Kurosaki he was dealing with here. Even so it still made him quite cross when his partner wasn't taking care of himself.

Hisoka returned early that evening looking worse than before. He practically stumbled into the room. "Oh Tsuzuki you're back before me." "Where the hell were you Hisoka? do you have ANY idea how worried I was?" Hisoka cringed slightly. "I didn't want to be a burden stop protecting me all the time I'm not a weak little child." "I never said you were but you're ill Hisoka you should be resting! Not outside in the rain no less. I care about you Hisoka I don't want you to be ill." He grabbed Hisoka by the shoulders. "I know you still have nightmares Hisoka I know you scream in your sleep. I've been out of my mind with worry for a week about you. But I can't sit here and watch you get weaker."

"Leave me alone damn it Tsuzuki! Stop interfering with my problems! It's not your burden to bear it's mine because I caused all this! Just worry about yourself for once!" Hisoka snapped. "Hisoka I'm supposed to look after you, you're my partner." "No! Just stop! I don't want people sacrificing themselves for me! I have to bear this! I have to be stronger I can't keep holding you back." "Hisoka..." "Just go and get some food or something I need to be left alone for a while I won't be eating anyway." Tsuzuki stood up and left.

When Tsuzuki was gone Hisoka buried his face in his pillow and started to cry. He hadn't meant to make Tsuzuki worry so much and he didn't mean to snap at him like that too. Hisoka felt horrible and hated himself for hurting Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki was also feeling guilty too he didn't mean to shout at Hisoka he was just worried about his health and he wanted Hisoka to be safe. For once he found himself not at all hungry. He was too wrapped up in guilt to eat anything. He headed back to the room.

When he got outside the door he could hear sobbing noises coming from it. Tsuzuki's guilt increased because he knew it was from the fight that Hisoka was crying about. Slowly he opened the door. "Hisoka..." He called out softly. Hisoka tensed and tried to conceal the fact that he was crying. "Why are you back so early? There's no way you've eaten yet." "I wasn't hungry." It was then that Hisoka felt Tsuzuki's guilt from the fight earlier. Hisoka sat up tears still streaming down his face and he stared down at his hands guiltily.

"Tsuzuki um..." He was taken back when Tsuzuki sat at the edge of the bed and wiped away his tears. New ones formed immediately, and then he was crying and clinging onto Tsuzuki's arm. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He cried. Tsuzuki pulled Hisoka into his arms and stroked his hair. "I'm so sorry Tsuzuki! I'm sorry!" "I should apologize too. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. I know I hurt you so I'm sorry too." Tsuzuki tightened his grip on Hisoka. "I'm sorry Hisoka." They remained on the bed clinging to each other for a long time.

Hisoka recovered a couple of days later and they solved the case. It turns out one of the women's ex had been mad about her leaving him so he kidnapped her and her two friends and kept them in the attic, they were all found safe and alive and very grateful for their rescue. Hisoka was relieved that Tsuzuki wouldn't blame himself for any deaths in this case.

But more horrors were yet to come...


	3. The child under the Sakura tree

"_Can you see me now? Can you see me now? All this weeping in the air who can tell where it will fall? Through floating forests in the air 'Cross the rolling open sea. Blow a kiss, I run through air, leave the past, find nowhere. Floating forests in the air. Clowns all around you.  
>Clowns that only let you know where you let your senses go. Clowns all around you, it's a cross I need to bear. All this black and cruel despair, this is an emergency. Don't you hide your eyes from me, open them and see me now"<em>

(Clowns/can you see me now? By T.a.T.u)

It had been two weeks since Tsuzuki and Hisoka had the argument. Tsuzuki was still worried, at times Hisoka would tense up in pain and then he'd be fine again. Hisoka insisted it was just his muscles tensing up but of course Tsuzuki still worried a great deal about him. Tatsumi told him he was just worrying too much but Tsuzuki had an instinct that something around him and Hisoka was changing.

Tsuzuki wondered if Hisoka could sense it too. The boy was getting really edgy lately and sometimes seemed unsure of where exactly he was. Tsuzuki thought it was just stress but of course he was worrying about it. And the nightmares he had were still happening and every time Tsuzuki went up to comfort him, he'd see a strange vision of a child by the end of the bed.

Hisoka was noticeably more reliant on Tsuzuki's comfort. Tsuzuki was glad that Hisoka could trust him but he was worrying about the source of it. He knew it was something to do with being in the cell. But he didn't know why this was happening. And why he got that fever as well because as far as he knew Hisoka wasn't out in the cold before the fever nor was he near anyone sick.

The next day Tsuzuki's worry increased. Hisoka came into the office and Tsuzuki was chatting to Watari. "Good morning Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi greeted. Hisoka didn't say anything back. "What's the matter Kurosaki-kun?" Tsuzuki looked in Hisoka's direction and saw he was holding onto the doorframe legs trembling. "N-nothing. Nothing's wrong." Hisoka stammered. He tried to take a few steps and stumbled. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki cried panicked and he caught him before he hit the ground. He noticed Hisoka was flushed and his breathing erratic. "Hisoka hang in there!"

"Don't you think this is odd Tsuzuki that this is the second attack within two weeks?" Watari questioned concern obvious in his voice. "Yes but the important thing is why is this happening to Hisoka? Why is he so ill?" "I don't know Tsuzuki but it's definitely not a cold." "Tsuzuki-san you have to be strong for Kurosaki-kun. You have to deal with this together. You can't fall apart here." Tatsumi said "I won't I have to protect Hisoka." "Don't worry Tsuzuki I'll definitely find out the cause of this." "Thank you Watari." Tsuzuki said gratefully.

Hisoka woke up the next day. "Hey how do you feel?" Tsuzuki asked gently. "I feel better I'm really sorry for all the trouble I've caused." "You haven't caused any trouble you can't help being ill." Tsuzuki murmured softly. "Do you need anything?" He asked. "No I don't need anything I'm fine now so you don't have to worry." "Hisoka do you know what's causing this?" "It's probably just a set back from two weeks ago it shouldn't be anything serious I'm sure besides I can't die." Hisoka said placing his hand on Tsuzuki's.

"Don't worry about me so much okay?" "How can I not? You're my partner it's natural I'd be worried about you. We've been through this Hisoka. I'm not going to sit here and watch you get ill." "Tsuzuki..." "I'm going to get you some food." But Hisoka grabbed his wrist. "No please don't leave." "Hisoka I'm not going out of the building. I won't be long I promise." "Please Tsuzuki stay with me I don't want to be alone." "You're not alone." Tsuzuki said softly. "You'll never be alone again but I have to look after you. I promise I'll be right back okay?" Tsuzuki gently stroked his hair.

"Okay..." Tsuzuki couldn't help but feel worried. He hadn't seen the kid like that since Kyoto when he clung onto Tsuzuki begging him to stay with him. 'What's got into him lately?' He wondered. Tsuzuki found some tinned soup and started to heat it up. When he had done he brought it to Hisoka. "There I'm back that wasn't long was it?" But he realized Hisoka was gone. "Hisoka? Oh crap! Where did he go?" He searched for Hisoka.

He found him by the cherry blossom tree just standing there. "Hisoka why did you get out of bed?" "Shh do you hear that?" Hisoka shushed him. Tsuzuki listened hard. "Help me please. Help me!" He heard. "It's a child's voice but where is it coming from?" "Over there." Hisoka pointed. They saw a young boy aged about eight sitting by a tree pleading.

"Hey are you alright?" Tsuzuki asked the kid when they got to him. But then he was taken aback. The child looked like a young Hisoka. He had light brown hair and large green eyes. Green eyes that asked for help. "Who are you?" Tsuzuki asked. "My name is...Hiroki." The child replied. Tsuzuki and Hisoka took him to chief Konoe. Tsuzuki wanted to know how the child had gotten to Meifu.

The child was a mystery there was no record of him on the list anywhere and the child had said he didn't have a second name because he was left alone for so long and nobody had wanted to take him in but he didn't know how he got there. Konoe said that he would leave Hiroki under Tsuzuki and Hisoka's care. Hiroki seemed happy about that. Hisoka felt there was something very familiar about that child but he couldn't place a finger on it.

When Yuma and Saya found out about the new arrival they doted on him. Hisoka felt glad that for once they weren't pouncing on him. He didn't want them to anyway because he was getting these weird pains recently. Like headaches and sometimes his back ached too. He didn't know why his back was hurting because he hadn't lifted anything heavy recently. He decided to just deal with it.

An hour later he thought it was silly that he was ignoring it because he was doing anything he could not to cry out in pain. Because everyone was doting on Hiroki they didn't notice. Hisoka couldn't even move he was in that much pain. He tried to stop the tears from falling but they did. The teardrops started splashing the paper he was working on. 'Pull yourself together Kurosaki!' He scolded himself. 'You can deal with this, you can!' He felt someone tap his shoulder. "Hey Hisoka we have to get Hiroki home now-Hisoka?" "J-just give me a minute Tsuzuki. I need to finish this paper." "Why is your paper wet Hisoka?" "Oh I don't know." Hisoka tried to pick up the pen but he instantly dropped it because his hand was shaking.

"Hisoka what's the matter? Look at me." He touched Hisoka's back. "AHHHHHH!" Hisoka screamed out. Tsuzuki was hit by his defences. "Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked panicked. Everyone had started running over to him. "I-I'm sorry..." "What about you Hisoka are you okay?" "Forgive me, forgive me. I used my empathy again, forgive me..." "Hisoka..." "N-no! NO! Father please don't hurt me again! Please don't make me go back in there again! I-I said I was sorry I tried not to do it again. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Watari came running into the room.

"What is going on in here?" "Hisoka's having a panic attack I don't know what to do Watari! He keeps thinking I'm his father and that I'm going to hurt him and lock him up." "Bon calm down its okay. Nobody is going to hit you or lock you up okay? You're in Meifu you're safe." Hisoka seemed to snap out of it. "My back...Tsuzuki it hurts. IT HURTS!" Tsuzuki knelt down next to him. "We'll make it stop hurting okay Hisoka?" "Don't leave me please." "I won't, I promise I won't leave you Hisoka."

They brought Hisoka back to the infirmary still sobbing and writhing in pain. Watari gave him some medicine and the back ache soon began to calm down and Hisoka fell asleep his face relieved of pain. "What was that all about?" "I can't say for certain he could just be under stress but if it continues and gets worse then we're admitting him here for observation. He won't like it but we need to monitor this. But maybe it is just stress, if it is then he'll recover soon enough, the kid has had a traumatic childhood after all."

Tsuzuki stayed by Hisoka's side that night. The door opened and Hiroki came in. He seemed sad. "Hey Hiroki I thought you were asleep. Are you worried about Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked. Hiroki just nodded, like Hisoka he wasn't much of a talker. Tsuzuki drew up another seat next to his so Hiroki could sit down. Hiroki just seemed to quietly observe Hisoka his face seemed more mature than his actual age.

Tsuzuki wondered just who was this child? And why did he look like Hisoka except eight years younger? The truth would soon be revealed and unknown to Tsuzuki something traumatic and life changing was in store for everyone in Meifu...


	4. Destiny

"_I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light. I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight. And I can't stand the pain. And I can't make it go away. No I can't stand the pain. How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life I just want to scream...How could this happen to me?"_

(Untitled-simple plan)

It had been over a month since Hisoka had the back pains and life in Meifu had gotten reasonably peaceful again. Summer was approaching so Tsuzuki suggested that he and Hisoka should take Hiroki to the beach. Hiroki had never been to the beach and was intrigued by the idea. Although he was a very quiet child he looked at everyone in the office with a mild fascination. Terazuma particularly. Hiroki was very curious about his Shikigami and looked on with fascination when Terazuma transformed. Terazuma didn't seem to mind Hiroki wasn't bothering him or anything.

Everyone was still doting on Hiroki, Hisoka was glad this meant that he could get some peace and quiet and think about what was causing this back pain. Of course they didn't ignore him completely Tsuzuki was worried like hell about Hisoka's well being and health. He thought suggesting going to the beach would make Hisoka feel better so he could get some fresh air.

On Sunday when the weather was nice they set out to the beach. When they got there Tsuzuki felt the trip was worth it. Hiroki stared at the ocean in childlike wonder. Tsuzuki told him he could go in the water if he wanted to. "Do you want to go in Hisoka?" He asked. Hisoka shook his head. Tsuzuki left him to it and went with Hiroki.

An hour or so later Hisoka was getting a headache and he wanted to go and lie down for a bit but he couldn't he didn't want to ruin the day. Tsuzuki and Hiroki returned both soaking wet. "Hey Hisoka you're gripping your head are you alright?" "Yeah just a headache-ah!" Hisoka cringed in pain. "Hisoka!" "No! I don't want to ruin your day don't worry about me." "Don't worry? Hisoka you're in pain again aren't you?" "No it isn't that..." "Don't lie to me Hisoka I know these things." Tsuzuki checked Hisoka's temperature and found the boy was indeed burning up. Hisoka collapsed in Tsuzuki's arms.

"Damn it! I thought this had all calmed down." Hiroki looked very sad. "Hiroki I'm going to get Hisoka some water okay? I'll get you some ice cream on the way too." Hiroki nodded. When Tsuzuki had gone he sat there in the sand humming a tune. Hisoka slept in the sand beside him. Hiroki touched Hisoka's forehead and then sighed, his eyes had a look that was more mature than his age. 'I have to stop this all somehow.' He thought to himself.

Tsuzuki returned sometime later and he handed the ice cream to Hiroki and helped Hisoka up so he could sip the water. Hisoka regained consciousness. "Where am I?" He asked. "We're at the beach Hisoka you passed out." "Are we in Okinawa?" He asked. "No Hisoka we're not. What's the matter?" "I don't know..." Hisoka mumbled confused. "In any case we should head on home so you can rest Hisoka. I don't want you any worse." "Hai." Hisoka said. When they went Tsuzuki noticed Hiroki looking up at Hisoka with a look of helplessness.

They returned to Meifu. By then Hisoka was crying out in pain. "AHHHH! AHHHHH IT HURTS! IT HURTS!" "I know, I know." Tsuzuki said comfortingly. "Tsuzuki I can't stand this pain anymore! I can't take this pain anymore!" Tsuzuki embraced him fiercely. "Don't you ever give up Hisoka do you understand me? You can get through this! We will get through this." "Please don't leave Tsuzuki?" "I won't Hisoka I'm not going anywhere I promise." "No don't lie to me. Everybody leaves me eventually because I'm a good for nothing."

Tsuzuki tightened the embrace. "Don't say that Hisoka I'm not going to leave you and you are not good for nothing. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You're Kurosaki Hisoka a strong caring young man. You're my partner, the partner that never gave up on me. The one who has always been by my side. I can't lose you now Hisoka not after everything we've been through together." Hisoka blushed. "Tsuzuki..." They arrived at Hisoka's house and Tsuzuki got out the cloth and tried to bring down Hisoka's fever.

It was after a little while that Tsuzuki realized Hiroki wasn't in the room with them. He found him outside just staring at the night sky. "You'll catch a cold." Tsuzuki said. "Oh Tsuzuki-san you surprised me there. Anyway..." Hiroki came up to Tsuzuki and grasped his arm. "You're the only thing that can keep him sane right now Asato. I'm doing all I can but he needs you there with him too." "Eh? Hiroki?" Hiroki's voice sounded a lot more mature. "You have to listen to me only you and I will be able to help him as he slowly begins to lose himself." "Hiroki what are you talking about." "It's nothing Tsuzuki-san maybe we can prevent it from happening or maybe it's simply meant to happen."

"You're not making any sense Hiroki." "Then just listen. Kurosaki Hisoka is in grave danger. In danger of losing his mind and his sense of reality. You've noticed haven't you when he thinks you're his father and has panic attacks? And just today when he forgot where his was? Hisoka's memories of being a Shinigami are fading away one by one causing him terrible pain. I myself am only a mere memory. I'm Hisoka's memories from birth to sixteen when he was still alive. But his other memories are being pushed out somehow."

Tsuzuki looked stunned. "What can I do about it?" "You are the one he trusts the most. When he's in danger you have to bring him back." "But he thinks I'm his father." "In his state of mind right now he'll think any person is his father and mother but you have to help me Tsuzuki you're my only hope because if Hisoka's memories of being a Shinigami fade away I'll be next and when all his memories are gone he won't be able to ever come back. He'll be a lifeless creature and he'll fade away."

They were interrupted by loud cries. "AHHHHHH TSUZUKI! TSUZUKI IT HURTS, IT HURTS!" Tsuzuki came running into the room. "Hisoka! Hisoka what's happened?" "My head it hurts!" "Shh, shh it's okay now Hisoka. You're alright now 'Soka-Chan you're alright." Hisoka clung to him crying. "Hisoka..." Hiroki spoke up. "Hai?" "Let me touch your forehead I have to check for something." Hisoka let him. Hiroki pressed his hand to his forehead. "I see." He said after a minute. "What is it?" Tsuzuki asked. "Hisoka's memory of Okinawa has faded away." Tsuzuki slammed his fist into the wall. "Damn it! I'm not going to let Hisoka waste away like this!"

Hisoka had fallen asleep his breathing erratic. Tsuzuki and Hiroki had to make sure that they retrieved all of Hisoka's lost memories before it was too late...


	5. Inside the storeroom

"_Please don't go I want you to stay. I'm begging you please, please don't leave here. I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel, this world is just illusion trying to change you. Being like you are well this is something else, who would comprehend? But some that do lay claim divine purpose blesses them, that's not what I believe and it doesn't matter anyway. A part of your soul ties you to the next world or maybe to the last but I'm still not sure but what I do know is to us the world is different as we are to the world I guess you would know that..."_

(Illusion-VNV Nation)

It was getting worse. Hisoka's condition was slowly deteriorating. Everyone was getting desperate to save Hisoka. Saya and Yuma were very worried about him. Hiroki told Tatsumi, Konoe and Watari what was happening to him and all they could come up with was a trauma of some sort was pushing his memories away. Tsuzuki could only guess that this was from Gensoukai. He blamed himself for taking him there and losing sight of him. And then Riko had sacrificed himself for Hisoka. He didn't think it was just Riko he thought something else was going on too.

It was then that Tatsumi told him that they went to Kamakura to see Hisoka's parents. "You did what kind of things did you see?" Tatsumi explained about the Kurosaki curse, the creature in the lake and the unborn demon spawn. But Hisoka didn't know any of this and if they told him it'd probably make it worse. But they knew that for some reason because of this Kamakura thing his memories of being a Shinigami were vanishing, why they didn't know. Hisoka had already had a memory stolen from his body once and that caused him so much pain now all his memories were going to vanish.

"TSUZUKI! HELP ME!" Hisoka screamed in the background. Tsuzuki ran into the room. "Hisoka it's okay! It's okay!" Tsuzuki embraced Hisoka again. "My head it really hurts Tsuzuki. Make it stop." Hisoka whimpered. Tsuzuki kissed Hisoka's forehead and stroked his hair. "Shh it's okay I'm here Hisoka. I'm always here." "Tsuzuki thank you for staying with me please don't leave me." "I promised before didn't I? I'm not going to leave. Wherever you go I'll go with you." Hisoka leaned up and kissed Tsuzuki on the cheek and he rested his head on Tsuzuki's chest falling asleep.

Hisoka didn't have a fever. His headache faded away letting him sleep in peace. Tsuzuki was glad. The next day both of them were sent into the storeroom to find some old files so they got to work on that. It was dark in there so they left the door open it jammed every time it closed anyway. Tsuzuki was worried about Hisoka working near such dodgy looking stacked boxes but Hisoka scolded him for being too protective. But they ran into some trouble. Somebody shut the door while they were in there and it got jammed so they were stuck fumbling in the dark trying to detect the door and fix it. Hisoka stumbled into some boxes and Tsuzuki ran to him. The boxes fell and Tsuzuki pushed them both so they'd avoid being crushed. Tsuzuki's feet were trapped and he'd pinned down Hisoka with him.

They both blushed. "Hisoka are you alright?" "Y-yeah I'm okay..." "Well how on earth are we going to get out of this one? My feet are trapped and you're stuck under me." "My arms are free so I can pull your legs out doing that should free me too." "Okay good idea, but it'd be hard on you because I'm heavier than you." "It's better than being crushed." Hisoka gasped out 'and you're so close to me that we're most probably within kissing distance-wait what? Why did I think that all of a sudden?' Hisoka thought to himself blushing even deeper.

"Okay ready? Now pull." Hisoka pulled with all his might. Tsuzuki was pressed up right against him but he had to think of getting them both out of there. That and the memories of his encounter with Muraki didn't help. But Hisoka had to try and get him off of him. He pulled harder and tried not to gasp when Tsuzuki started trying to push too making him press even closer. "Sorry 'Soka I know your empathy is hard to deal with when you're really close to someone. I can feel my legs starting to free now a couple more tugs should do it." Hisoka nodded.

Finally he managed to pull Tsuzuki free and Tsuzuki rolled over and grabbed Hisoka's arms pulling him out too. He was relieved that they were finally free he just about died of embarrassment feeling Tsuzuki so close to him. He didn't know why that made him blush so much. But he'd been thinking recently that he may have had feelings for Tsuzuki in fact he'd been thinking of that since Kyoto. He decided not to act on it in case Tsuzuki didn't feel the same way.

They finally emerged from the storeroom into the light. Neither of them mentioned what had happened to any of their colleagues in case they got the wrong idea. And knowing Watari, Saya and Yuma they would definitely assume they had sex or something. Hisoka knew what they were like. Tsuzuki didn't mention it again not even when he tucked Hisoka into bed that night. "You know Tsuzuki you don't have to keep doing this, I'm not a child." "Well who knows when you could have another attack I'm worried for you Hisoka. Now go to sleep alright I'll still be here when you wake up." Hisoka nodded and closed his eyes, going to sleep.

Tsuzuki looked at him thinking about the encounter in the storeroom. Strange feelings were emitting from his body. When he was lying on the young Shinigami he had wanted to kiss him and not on the forehead but on the lips. Of course he had known ever since the case on the Queen Camellia that he loved and cared about the boy and even more so in Kyoto when Hisoka comforted him.

Hisoka was the one who made him see that he did still have something to live for. When Hisoka threw himself in his arms and sobbed, begging him not to leave him he knew he couldn't. He couldn't put the boy through so much pain and suffering after all he had been through. He promised that no matter what he would stay with Hisoka and that Hisoka would always live in his heart like he lived in Hisoka's. He smiled down at Hisoka and kissed his forehead yet again. "Goodnight darling. I promise you I'll always take care of you. I won't let you die Hisoka..." Tsuzuki sat back down in the seat and went to sleep.

But there was more in store for the Shinigami of Meifu...


	6. Advice

"_Out of sight, out of mind. Out of time to decide. Do we run? Should I hide? For the rest of my life? Can we fly? Do I stay? We could lose; we could fail in the moment it takes to make plans or mistakes. _

_Thirty minutes a blink of an eye, thirty minutes to alter our lives. Thirty minutes to make up my mind, thirty minutes to finally decide. Thirty minutes to whisper your name, thirty minutes to shoulder the blame. Thirty minutes of bliss, thirty lies. Thirty minutes to finally decide._

_Carousels in the sky that we shape with our eyes. Under shade, silhouettes. Casting shade crying rain. Can we fly? Do I stay? We could lose; we could fail, either way options change. Chances fade, trains de-rail. _

_Thirty minutes a blink of an eye, thirty minutes to alter our lives. Thirty minutes to make up my mind, thirty minutes to finally decide. Thirty minutes to whisper your name, thirty minutes to shoulder the blame. Thirty minutes of bliss, thirty lies. Thirty minutes to finally decide. To decide, to decide, to decide, to decide, to decide, to decide, to decide, to decide, to decide..." _

(Thirty minutes by T.a.T.u)

There was a small period after the storeroom incident where Hisoka seemed alright and wasn't in any pain. Sadly this soon went wrong. Hisoka was in the library just chilling out when he had a strange blank out. The GuShoShin brothers were worried when Hisoka started panicking thinking a random passer-by was his father coming to take him home. "No! I don't want to go back! I'm happy here! I want to stay with Tsuzuki and everyone! Don't take me away from them! Please!" "Hisoka-san please calm down!" "No! No! NOOOOOOOOO!" Hisoka's empathy was out of control. Books were flying everywhere.

One of the brothers went to get Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki-san there's a problem!" He screamed. "Hmm GuShoShin? What's the matter?" "It's Hisoka-san, he's lost control of his empathy and the library is getting destroyed!" Tsuzuki leapt out of his seat and ran to the library. He found Hisoka curled up in a ball shaking. "Hisoka calm down!" Tsuzuki cried out to him. "NO STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Hisoka screamed. Watari and Tatsumi also came running into the room. "Kurosaki-kun pull yourself together!" "NOOOOOOOOO! Don't make me go back in there!" Everyone was really worried.

Tsuzuki knelt down beside Hisoka. "It's okay I'll handle this you guys go back to the office. I'll calm him down." He grasped Hisoka's shoulders. "Hisoka calm down nobody is going to hurt you. I'll protect you my darling I'll protect you." "No more...I can't take anymore... Someone help me! It's so dark and cold." "You don't have to be in the dark anymore Hisoka. I'll be your light. The light that guides you through the dark times, so please believe in me, please come to me for help." Tsuzuki held his hand out to him, "all you need to do is hold onto us all we're your friends and we're reaching out to you. Hisoka grab onto our hands and we'll pull you up. We're all in this together..."

Hisoka calmed down. "Tsu-Tsuzuki..." Then his eyes filled with tears. "Tsuzuki! Tsuzuki!" And he threw his arms around him. Tsuzuki returned the embrace as Hisoka sobbed in his arms. "Tsuzuki what's happening to me? Why? Why did everything get so messed up? Why am I getting so weak? What is happening to my memories? Nothing makes any sense anymore I should have known better to think that I'd be happy in this world. I understand that this is my curse. I'm being punished for not being the child my parents wanted, for being so weak and reliant. I've sinned Tsuzuki and now nobody can ever forgive me..." Tsuzuki cut him off by kissing him on the lips.

Hisoka's eyes widened stunned. Tsuzuki pulled away wiping the tears from Hisoka's eyes. "I'll forgive you Hisoka; even if nobody else does I will forgive you. You haven't done anything wrong Hisoka, you haven't sinned and you are NOT cursed. You're a wonderful person and I couldn't imagine my life without you. If you give up and die Hisoka then I'll go with you. I'd follow you to the end of the world if I could." "Tsuzuki...Why do I mean so much to you?" "Because you're my partner, my closest friend and the one I truly love with all my heart." Hisoka's eyes widened again.

"You love me with all your heart?" "Yes I do. I stayed alive for you didn't I? Do you think I wouldn't have done that if I didn't care Hisoka?" "Tsuzuki I-I don't know what love feels like. My parents never gave me the slightest bit of kindness and affection and now I'm confused because someone does love me and I don't know how to react!" Hisoka started to cry. "Shh don't cry love. Just take your time in realizing what you feel for me. I'm not going to force you into anything you don't feel comfortable with. I'll wait for you as long as it takes because I'm not going anywhere." "Tsuzuki..." Hisoka murmured embracing him tightly. Tsuzuki hugged him back.

What Tsuzuki had told Hisoka played over and over in his mind every night for a week. 'Because you're my partner, my closest friend and the one I truly love with all my heart...' Hisoka looked up at his bedroom ceiling. 'What do I feel for Tsuzuki? I like him sure. I need him by my side and I don't want him to ever leave me but I don't know how to react to love. I don't know what it feels like.' Then he got an idea. He put his jacket on and went outside. Hisoka was outside a house and he knocked on the door.

The door opened and Tatsumi stepped out. "Kurosaki-kun how may I help you tonight?" "I need to speak to you and Watari-san unless this isn't a good time?" "No, no we were just about to start making dinner, you're free to join us if you'd like." "No thanks I'm fine." "Kurosaki-kun you haven't eaten yet today have you?" His answer was a growl from Hisoka's stomach. Tatsumi looked amused. "I thought so. Now I insist come and have dinner with us." Hisoka knew Tatsumi wouldn't take no for an answer so he nodded.

"Yutaka make sure there's enough for one more person." Watari stepped into the sitting room. "Ah bon so you're joining us too are you? That's fine you don't eat much not like Tsuzuki when ever he comes here I end up making enough for the whole office." "Umm thanks for letting me come in here." "You're always welcome here bon. Whenever you need us we're here to help, that's what friends are for right Seiichirou?" "Right that's what we're here for." Hisoka bowed. "Thank you very much." Watari served up dinner soon after and Hisoka wondered how long it had been sine he ate dinner with friends and family.

After dinner they sat in the sitting room. "Thank you for the food." Hisoka said. "It's alright Kurosaki-kun. Now what is the thing you need to talk about Kurosaki-kun?" Hisoka hung his head. "Umm I don't really know how I should say this..." "Just try we'll listen and we won't judge now what's bothering you?" "I ask you two because you're a couple and you know about these sorts of things but umm how do you know you're in love with someone?" Tatsumi and Watari were paying full attention.

Watari smiled. "Love is when you want to protect someone precious to you. You'd die for them and always be there for them and you'd never want to leave their side. Do you feel this way about someone Bon?" "I do." "I see you finally realized the depths of your relationship with Tsuzuki. He cares a lot for you, you know. When you're not here, you're all he talks about." "I know he told me he loved me but I can't tell how I feel about him." "Just do what your heart tells you to Kurosaki-kun and you'll know." "H-he kissed me and it felt really nice and I liked it." Watari grinned.

"Then there's no other explanation for it Bon if you want to be with Tsuzuki then go for it nobody will judge you in fact we've been waiting for one of you to say something. I always knew that since Kyoto you seemed to develop a bit of a crush on Tsuzuki and we knew for ages before that, that Tsuzuki adores you. You should go and tell him. Talk to him about it, it's what he's here for Bon." Hisoka bowed. "I'm going to go now thank you very much for the advice I can see it clearly now." Watari touched his shoulder. "No problem Bon as we said before that's what we're here for."

Hisoka said goodbye and left. Watari and Tatsumi went back in. "I do hope they talk about it." "I'm sure they will Yutaka." They sat down on the sofa Tatsumi put his arm around Watari and held him close. "Whatever happens I'll do anything I can to protect Bon and Tsuzuki." "This side of you is the side I love the most. You're so considerate to your friends when they are in trouble." "And you Seiichirou." Tatsumi smiled warmly and they shared a kiss lying down on the sofa together.

Hisoka decided he would talk to Tsuzuki about it. It started to rain as he was heading to Tsuzuki's house. He sprinted there and knocked on the door. But Tsuzuki was out probably at a restaurant. Hisoka decided he would wait for him on the doorstep. He was drenched by the time Tsuzuki actually got there. "Hisoka? Hisoka you're soaked. What are you doing here?" "I have to talk to you Tsuzuki." Tsuzuki helped Hisoka up and opened the door. He brought a towel so Hisoka could dry himself off.

"So what is it?" "Umm it's about what you said last week. When you told me you loved me." "Oh. What about it?" "I talked to Watari and Tatsumi and I finally came to a conclusion. Tsuzuki I-I love you too." Emerald eyes met amethyst and they leaned towards each other. Hisoka closed his eyes as he felt Tsuzuki's lips on his. The kiss got deeper after a while and they finally broke apart. Tsuzuki was smiling at Hisoka gently and tenderly. Hisoka blushed and then smiled shyly back.

They were both glad that they had finally confessed their feelings for each other. Now the two would have to keep staying strong and work together to overcome the obstacle that faced them...


	7. The festival

"_On the ground I lay motionless in pain. I can see my life flashing before my eyes. Did I fall asleep? Is this all a dream? Wake me up I'm living a nightmare. I will not die. (I will not die) I will survive. I will not die; I'll wait here for you. I feel alive when you're beside me. I will not die; I'll wait here for you in my time of dying."_

(Time of dying by Three Days Grace)

Hisoka was getting worse. He lost his memories of Hokkaido and Saya and Yuma so when they came to see him he didn't remember them. Tsuzuki knew the two girls were upset. They thought of Hisoka as their friend and they didn't want him to be hurt. Hiroki came into the room sensing that the two girls were upset and Tsuzuki told him that Hisoka lost more memories. Hiroki was worried that his memories were fading away quicker it meant they didn't have much time left.

Tsuzuki was really worried. Hisoka was deteriorating and Saya and Yuma weren't their usual cheerful selves. Even Wakaba was quiet and reserved. Terazuma just kept quiet and didn't make any digs at Tsuzuki. Watari was keeping Hisoka in the infirmary. The office had lost its spark because everyone was worried about Hisoka. Tsuzuki was determined not to lose his now lover. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A loud scream interrupted Tsuzuki from his thoughts.

Hisoka was in pain again. His back was hurting and he couldn't move. "Tsuzuki I can't move! I can't move!" "Hush darling it'll stop soon." "Please make it stop Tsu I don't want to be in pain anymore! I don't want to hurt anymore and I don't want to lose my memories anymore!" Hisoka clung to Tsuzuki sobbing. Tsuzuki held Hisoka close to him so the boy was completely engulfed in Tsuzuki's scent.

Hisoka didn't get any better; no amount of pain killers stopped it from hurting. Hisoka cried out in pain for most of the afternoon. Tsuzuki just held his hand and gripped it tightly. Hisoka squeezed his hand every time he had a twinge of pain. Tsuzuki just wanted to take the pain away from Hisoka but he couldn't do anything and again he started to blame himself for the one he loved suffering.

Hiroki meanwhile was trying to console everyone in the office because they were all upset. Hiroki didn't want to see his friends in pain. He'd become close to everyone and he finally felt like part of things instead of just watching from the distance. Hiroki liked being part of things and liked to help Hisoka because he was more than just a memory Hisoka was like an older brother to him. Hiroki decided to sing a song to everyone to cheer them up. It was a song he heard on the radio somewhere a nice calm song. By a woman called Lia. He took a deep breath and began to sing.

"Ano umi dokomademo aokatta tookumade. Ano michi dokomademo tsuzuiteta massuguni.  
>Ichiban hayaku sunaoni warattamono gachi, ichiban sukina anohito waratteru. Dare yorimo toku e ittemo koko kara mata waratte kureru? Hitomi wo tojireba futto natsu no nioi." Tsuzuki was talking to Watari outside the infirmary "I think Bon has calmed down now you don't need to worry Tsuzuki." He paused when they heard the song in the background. "What a pretty song Tsuzuki said.<p>

"Ano kawa asonderu futari kiri doro darake. Ano kumo otteiru todoitara shiawase to  
>Ichiban hayaku kono saka nobotta mono gachi, ichiban sukina ano basho mezashite. Takusan no omoide ga aru hoka niha nani mo iranai kurai Hitomi wo tojireba sugu ano umi no nioi. <p>

Mata natsu ga kuru giniro ni hikaru minamo ni utsusu futaribun no kage. Dare yorimo toku he ittemo kokokara mata waratte kureru? Hitomi wo tojireba futto ano hi no aozora..." Hiroki finished off the song and everyone clapped. Hiroki smiled serene. It seemed to cheer everyone up considerably. "Wahhh! Hiroki-kun you have such a good singing voice!" Yuma and Saya squealed.

Hiroki thanked them and headed off to the infirmary so he could check on Hisoka. He saw Tsuzuki sitting by his side holding his hand really tightly while Hisoka's breathing was erratic again. He also had a high fever again. Hiroki figured Tsuzuki wanted some alone time so he went back into the office. Tsuzuki pressed a kiss to Hisoka's hand and stroked his cheek. "We'll get through this Soka I'm not going to ever let you go baby so don't give up on me." Hisoka slowly opened his eyes. "Tsu..." He murmured.

"Hisoka how are you feeling?" "Bloody awful." Hisoka replied. Tsuzuki stroked his hair gently. "I know its painful and unbearable but I'm here for you Hisoka so you don't have to suffer alone." Hisoka smiled "Aa I know." Hisoka replied. Tsuzuki went to fix Hisoka some soup. He knew eating wasn't the cure for it and he knew they were running out of time. Tsuzuki had to do something special with Hisoka before time ran out and he forgot his memories.

Tsuzuki asked Hisoka if there was anything he wanted to do with Tsuzuki before he lost his memories. Hisoka said he didn't mind where they went as long as he was with Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki decided on the Nagasaki festival. He didn't get to take him when they were on their first case so he wanted to take him there for the night and spend some time with him. On the eve of the festival Tsuzuki carried Hisoka there in his arms. Hisoka snuggled against his chest and smiled.

They went around the booths first. Tsuzuki wasn't very good at the shooting gallery and Hisoka was too ill to really move but he managed to win a cat plush toy. He gave it to Hisoka. "Eh? You're giving this to me?" Hisoka asked. "Yes you deserve a gift after everything you've been through and besides cats are more your thing aren't they?" Hisoka blushed. "Arigatou Tsuzuki." Hisoka mumbled holding the cat to his chest.

The fireworks display started and Tsuzuki and Hisoka picked the perfect spot on the top of a hill. Tsuzuki wound an arm around Hisoka's shoulders and Hisoka rested his head on Tsuzuki's shoulder. They took in the scenery. "It's so pretty." Hisoka said. "Yes it is beautiful." Then he snuggled Hisoka. "You want to know what else is beautiful? You are Hisoka. You're beautiful." Hisoka blushed. "I-I'm not beautiful Tsuzuki. Who on earth would think a tainted child like me is beautiful?" Tsuzuki crushed Hisoka in an embrace.

"You're not tainted darling. I still think you're beautiful no matter what your past is like. And no matter how ill you are I'll still think you're beautiful. I'll always be by your side no matter what. I'm not going anywhere baby." Hisoka held Tsuzuki tighter then they pushed apart looking into each others eyes. Tsuzuki pressed his lips against Hisoka in a loving but passionate kiss. Tsuzuki's tongue rubbed against Hisoka's lips demanding entrance which was granted. They battled for a while and Tsuzuki won. Hisoka moaned into the kiss. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each others.

Hisoka placed his head on Tsuzuki's chest listening to his heartbeat. "Tsu?" "Yes darling?" "I think there is one more thing I'd like to do before my memory fades away." "What's that baby? Whatever it is I'll get you it." Hisoka blushed. "Umm could I stay over at your place tonight? I'd like to lie close to you for a while." Tsuzuki smiled gently. "Sure we'll head over there now." He lifted Hisoka up into his arms. He teleported them into his house. Both were wondering if something might happen that night. Something that would bring them closer...

Notes: The song Hiroki sings is called Aozora by Lia

Ano umi dokomademo aokatta tooku made  
>Ano michi dokomademo tsuzuiteta massuguni<p>

Ichiban hayaku sunaoni waratta monotachi  
>Ichiban suki na ano hito waratteru<p>

Dare yorimo tooku ni ittemo koko kara mata waratte kureru  
>Hitomi o tojireba futto natsu no hi no nioi<p>

Ano kawa asonderu futari kiri doro darake  
>Ano kumo otteiru todoitara shiawase to<p>

Ichiban hayaku kono saka nobotta monotachi  
>Ichiban suki na ano basho mezashite<p>

Takusan no omoide ga aru hoka ni ha nani mo iranai kurai  
>Hitomi o tojireba sugu ano umi no nioi<p>

Mata natsu ga kuru gin iro ni hikaru  
>Minamo ni utsusu futaribun no kage<p>

Dare yorimo tooku ni ittemo kokokara mata waratte kureru  
>Hitomi o tojireba futto ano hi no aozora<p>

These lyrics are not available for printing.


	8. Becoming one

This chapter contains lemon don't like it? Then please skip this chapter

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile while you are sleeping while you're far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever. Well, every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep. 'Cause I'd miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing._

_Lying close to you feeling your heart beating. And I'm wondering what you're dreaming wondering if it's me you're seeing. Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together and I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever. I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep. 'Cause I'd miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing._

_I don't wanna miss one smile I don't wanna miss one kiss. Well, I just wanna be with you right here with you, just like this. I just wanna hold you close and feel your heart so close to mine. And stay here in this moment for the rest of time. Don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep. 'Cause I'd miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do 'cause I'd still miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing. _

_I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep. 'Cause I'd miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe and I don't wanna miss a thing. Don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep; yeah I don't wanna miss a thing..."_

(Don't wanna miss a thing-Aerosmith)

They were inside Tsuzuki's house. Both were feeling tense and nervous. Both knew that something was inevitably going to happen that evening. Tsuzuki made some tea and put a film on just to try and ease the tension. Both relaxed a little and held each other during the film. It soon became that they could no longer pay any attention to the film. "Tsuzuki?" "Yes?" "Umm." Hisoka couldn't quite put what he wanted to say into words but Tsuzuki seemed to understand. "Are you sure you want to do this Hisoka? Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes." Hisoka said. "I want to know how it feels with the one I love." Tsuzuki nodded. "Okay. If at any point you want to stop then say so. I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want." "I do want this Tsu. I want to be with you, I want to become one with you." "You are already with me; you're already one with me." "Don't keep thinking that I might not be ready or that you might hurt me. I am ready for this and I know you won't hurt me." Tsuzuki lifted Hisoka into his arms and brought him into the bedroom.

He lay Hisoka down on the bed and carefully climbed on top of his partner. Hisoka gasped for breath. Tsuzuki began prising the shirt off Hisoka kissing his chest while doing so. Hisoka moaned. "Tsuzuki..." The shirt was off so Tsuzuki began taking off Hisoka's jeans and underwear still kissing his chest. Hisoka became hard. Tsuzuki took Hisoka's jeans and underwear off and then took his own clothes off. He kissed Hisoka on the lips. Hisoka ran his hands down his back moaning.

"Are you ready to start now baby?" "Ah! Ah yes! Yes Tsuzuki I'm ready." Tsuzuki began preparing Hisoka. Hisoka tensed in pain a little. "I know it hurts but trust me Hisoka it'll feel better soon I promise. Hisoka nodded his consent and Tsuzuki continued preparing Hisoka. Hisoka cried out. "Are you alright?" Tsuzuki asked worriedly. "Tsuzuki please just do it!" "Are you sure?" "Yes I'm sure!" Tsuzuki slid inside Hisoka's entrance.

Hisoka moaned. Tsuzuki made sure he was going slowly so he didn't hurt Hisoka. Hisoka cried out in pleasure. "Ah Tsuzuki! Ah!" Their lips met again and Tsuzuki moaned. Hisoka cried out again and then climaxed gasping for breath. Tsuzuki climaxed soon after rolling off Hisoka and pulling him against his chest. "How did that feel?" "It felt really good thank you Tsuzuki for showing me how it feels to love." Tsuzuki kissed his forehead. And they fell asleep in each others arms.

They went to work together the next morning after bathing together. Hisoka was blushing at what had happened he couldn't believe that making love could feel good after his experiences. He was glad that he could be with Tsuzuki and had made some good memories before they all faded away. Hisoka wanted to have happy memories before they all went it was no good only having sad memories so when he got them back he could see how he finally after many years of torture and hatred had been happy. Hisoka held onto Tsuzuki's hand. Tsuzuki looked down at Hisoka and smiled, Hisoka smiled back a true smile full of happiness.

They were happy now and that was all that mattered. No matter what was in store for them, they would overcome it...


	9. Goodbye

"_Take a breath, I pull myself together, just another stab until I reach the door. You'll never know the way, it tears me up inside to see you. (Ah, ah) I wish that I could tell you something, (ah, ah) to take it all away. Sometimes I wish I could save you, and there's so many things that I want you to know. I won't give up till it's over. If it takes you forever I want you to know._

_When I hear your voice, it's drowning in the whispers. You're just skin and bones, there's nothing left to take and no matter what I do, I can't make you feel better. (Ah, ah) I wish that I could find the answer, (ah, ah) to help me understand. Sometimes I wish I could save you and there's so many things that I want you to know. I won't give up till it's over. If it takes you forever I want you to know that, if you fall stumble down I'll pick you up off the ground. If you lose faith in you I'll give you strength to pull through. Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall, you know I'll be there for you._

_(Ah, ah) if only I could find the answer, (ah, ah) to help me understand. Sometimes I wish I could save you and there's so many things that I want you to know. I won't give up till it's over. If it takes you forever I want you to know, I wish I could save you, I want you to know, I wish I could save you..."_

(Save you by Simple Plan)

Time was nearly up for Hisoka. He had forgotten almost everything. He couldn't remember anything of the time they were on the Queen Camellia he had even forgotten everything in Kyoto. He was in constant pain crying out in his sleep. Both Tsuzuki and Watari were losing sleep. Tsuzuki stayed by Hisoka's side all the time holding his hand and kissing every tear away.

Hiroki was getting frustrated over what he should do and he knew that as soon as all his memories of being a Shinigami were gone, he himself would disappear which was why he became a human form to prevent it from happening. But he didn't know what to do. He had to help Hisoka but he was powerless. Hisoka's memories had faded too quickly and now he was lost. Would the same fate happen to him? He wondered and then reprimanded himself telling himself to stay positive and that he would find a way out of this godforsaken fate.

Tsuzuki tried to spend as much time as he could making things fun for Hisoka to try and take his mind off the pain. Hisoka couldn't move anymore, he couldn't do anything by himself anymore. Tsuzuki had to do everything for him. He had to dress him, bathe him, help feed him and help him drink. Hisoka hated it, Tsuzuki knew he hated it but there was nothing else they could do. But Tsuzuki would also read to him and sing to him to help him sleep it was all he could do to take the pain away.

Hisoka tried to keep his spirits up. 'At least this time I have someone who cares about me by my side to lessen my pain a little.' He thought. When he was in hospital dying nobody had been there to console him or hold his hand. He had Tsuzuki there now and for now he could forget about the burning pains in his body. He could forget about the rising temperature and the pounding headache because he felt the comfort that Tsuzuki was emitting to him.

A week later Hisoka's time was finally up. It had been a horrible day. Hisoka had screamed in pain the whole night and through most of the morning. They all knew his memory was going to go. Only Tsuzuki could be there now. Hisoka could only remember Tsuzuki and even that memory was vague. It was a memory of him holding his hand. Everything else was gone. The time when he was kidnapped in Nagasaki was gone. Tsuzuki was giving up hope. He didn't think they could save him. But he knew that if Hisoka wasn't saved he would soon join him after all they had promised to always be together.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH IT BURNS!" Hisoka screamed interrupting Tsuzuki's thoughts. Tsuzuki grabbed his hand tightly with his own. Hisoka squeezed it. His green eyes were dull and pain filled he could barely keep them open. Everything hurt. He couldn't move because of the pain, his whole body had frozen. Tsuzuki stroked his hair, kissing him and whispering words of comfort. Hisoka just cried in pain and sorrow. Everything he had gained, friends, a family, a lover were all slipping out of his grasp. Nature was repeating itself. Hisoka felt trapped in an endless fate full of suffering.

Every time Hisoka had moment of pain Tsuzuki would squeeze his hand and reassure him. Hisoka was glad at least before his memories faded that he got to spend the last memory of being a Shinigami with the one he loved more than anything, that at least was of some comfort to him. He knew that when he woke up again with no memories of Meifu that Tsuzuki would still continue to be by his side and would still love him. He could let go of his memories peacefully knowing that.

Tsuzuki knew that when Hisoka fell asleep all the time they had would be lost and he couldn't stop crying knowing this. He didn't want to lose Hisoka and he knew the boy didn't want to lose him. But when Hisoka forgot everything Tsuzuki swore he would remember everything about them. How when Hisoka was kidnapped Tsuzuki instantly ran to find him. How when they escaped from the sinking Queen Camellia Tsuzuki had let Hisoka cry in his arms for as long as he needed. How in Kyoto Hisoka had reassured him that he was human. And how again in Kyoto Hisoka had jumped into Touda's flames planning to die with him. Tsuzuki knew he could never forget that.

Hisoka could no longer stay awake and Tsuzuki knew this. He could feel Hisoka's hand touch his arm. Tsuzuki looked down at him tears filling his eyes. "Tsuzuki this is the last time I'm going to see your face and remember it please at least smile for me. I've been very happy having you by my side all this time. I can rest knowing that at least I have someone I love to care for me and stand by me." Tears filled Hisoka's own eyes.

"You all this time have always been here for me when I've needed you. You stopped working just to look after me. I don't know how I could ever thank you for everything you've done. But I want to remember before I lose everything how you would smile gently and reassure me." Tsuzuki ruffled his hair a smile appearing on his face. Hisoka smiled back and it was one of true happiness, one of love. Tsuzuki realized with that smile that Hisoka was happy that he was there, that he could be with the one he loved right until the end.

"Tsuzuki no matter what happens I know you will always be by my side and there's nothing that I want more than to be by your side. I don't want to die I want to stay in the world I truly belonged." "You won't die Hisoka I'll make sure of that." "Tsuzuki?" "Yes baby what is it?" "I love you." "I love you too Hisoka I'll always love you no matter what." Hisoka's eyes began to close. "Thank you...for everything. Goodbye Asato. One day I...will remember...everything..." Hisoka's eyes shut, the tears he was holding back streamed down his cheeks.

Tsuzuki cried silently looking down at his lover his face for once peaceful and free of pain. Tsuzuki knew this wasn't the end. But he would do whatever he could to bring back Hisoka's memory and he would always continue to love him. Unknown to him Hiroki stood by the door watching them with tears streaming down his cheeks.

The two of them had to keep working together to save the life of the boy lying peacefully in the hospital bed now with no memory of being a Shinigami or of a person he dearly loved called Asato Tsuzuki...


	10. Determination

"_Maybe nothing else will ever be so clear. Or maybe that's only my fear. If just for one day I wish I could disappear, just take me far from here. Maybe I'd find out nothing new. Maybe I'd end up just like you. There's no solution (no solution) give me truth to my conviction, is my own confusion (my confusion) reality or fiction? Am I out of my mind?"_

(No solution by Sum 41)

When Hisoka had fallen asleep letting all his memories fade away Tsuzuki held the boy close and cried. He didn't want his love to forget him but he didn't want him to die either. Hiroki watched the whole thing feeling helpless, feeling like he was failing somehow and he knew that the same fate would happen to him too. Hiroki needed to find a way to stop it all before Hisoka faded away never to return.

He knew he'd have to start searching for all the memories Hisoka had lost. Sadly this possibly involved retuning to Kamakura because the events that occurred there seemed to be what was causing Hisoka's memory to fade away. Hiroki knew that Watari and Tatsumi went to Kamakura and he knew that he had to ask them to tell him what was going on there. He knew their parents had something to do with this.

Hiroki wouldn't give up not without a fight. He couldn't let this beat them he had to retrieve the memories lurking in Kamakura but he also had to face the past something he really didn't want to do. But to save Hisoka's soul he had to do that. Hisoka was important to him without a body memories can not exist. Hisoka had let him live and hadn't pushed him aside even though the memories were very painful.

Hiroki decided he had to leave to Kamakura he didn't want to drag Tsuzuki into this any longer and Hisoka was too weak to move. It just left him to do it now. Hiroki may have been just a child but he was capable of it and it was up to him to stop this destiny. Hiroki swore to himself and Hisoka that he would get the memories back that he would save them both and then he wrote a note telling everyone where he was going. As he left the building he glanced up at it one more time. "Thank you everyone for including me as part of your family even if I fade away I'll never ever forget what you did for me." Hiroki turned his back and departed to the real world to face Nagare and Rui Kurosaki.

Hisoka finally awoke. Tsuzuki glanced down at him. "Hisoka you're awake!" Tsuzuki said joyfully. "Where am I? Who are you? Am I still in hospital?" "You're in Meifu Hisoka my name is Tsuzuki. You've been dead for a couple of years now." "I'm dead? So I really did die from that curse?" "Yes Hisoka you did." "How do you know me?" "You're a Shinigami Hisoka you and I are partners." "Why can't I remember any of this?" "You got ill very ill and as a result you lost your memories but don't worry Hisoka you will get them back." Everything was all new and strange to Hisoka.

Hisoka couldn't understand why he had lost all his memories but he really wanted to get them back. There was something strange emitting from the man Tsuzuki and the way he looked at him was a look of kindness and something else he didn't quite understand at that moment. He knew he would figure it out someday.

Tsuzuki was still upset that Hisoka's memories had faded but he knew he had to stay strong for Hisoka's sake. Hisoka needed him more than ever now and Tsuzuki had promised that he would always protect the boy and keep him safe and he never wanted to go back on that promise. Hisoka meant the world to him he would do anything for him and he didn't want to see the boy hurting. Tsuzuki went to get some food for Hisoka, he found a note addressed to his department he picked it up and read through it his face became one of shock.

Dear Tsuzuki and everyone else

I am sorry I have to go to Kamakura. I have to go and get Hisoka's memories back I have to stop our upcoming fate. I can't let us fade away into nothingness. If I'm not back within a month then it's too late. Please don't come after me especially you Tsuzuki you have the duty to protect Hisoka, I will be fine this is something I have to do. Fate wants me to do this I know it and I have to fulfil my duty. Thank you everyone for everything, for including me in your family and for watching over me. I'll never forget you.

Hiroki

Tsuzuki was stunned that Hiroki would go off and do something like that. The kid was very strong he could give him that. But Tsuzuki couldn't help being worried. He couldn't just leave Hisoka on his own either but he didn't want to let Hiroki bear this burden himself he wanted to save Hisoka too. Tsuzuki didn't know what to do but what he did know was that he would definitely protect Hisoka and he would not let Hiroki die either. Hiroki was a part of Hisoka so he wouldn't let him die either...


	11. Confrontation

"_When our time is up, when our lives are done will we say we've had our fun? Will we make a mark this time? Will we always say we tried? Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. This is all we've got now everybody scream your heart out._

_All the love I've met, I have no regrets. If it all ends now I'm set. Will we make a mark this time? Will we always say we tried? Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. This is all we got now everybody scream your heart out._

_Standing on the rooftops (wait until the bomb drops). This is all we got now (scream until your heart stops). Never gonna regret (watching every sunset). We'll listen to your heartbeat (all the love that we found). Standing on the rooftops (wait until the bomb drops). This is all we got now (scream until your heart stops). Never gonna regret (Watching every sunset). We'll listen to your heartbeat (all the love that we found). Scream your heart out. Scream your heart out. Scream your heart out. Scream your. _

_Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftop everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftop everybody scream your heart out. This is all we got now everybody scream your..."_

(Rooftops- by Lost Prophets)

It had been a fortnight since Hiroki went off to confront Hisoka's parents. Since then Hisoka had been able to move about a little. He was very curious about how he used to act like and how Tsuzuki felt for him. He knew Tsuzuki was a very special person to him and he also knew that he was very special to Tsuzuki but he wanted to understand more about them. And yet he didn't want to hurt Tsuzuki either.

Tsuzuki took Hisoka out for the day as a reward for pulling through all the pain he had to suffer. He took him to a small place in the countryside and they were going to have a picnic. They had been there before but Hisoka wouldn't remember it. Tsuzuki had taken him there to cheer him up after the incident on the Queen Camellia. It had been a very peaceful day. It was a peaceful day back in the present too. The weather was nice and Hisoka was looking at everything in a sort of childlike curiosity that was unlike Hisoka.

But something was strange Hisoka could feel a strange presence in the area it felt familiar to him. Hisoka knew there were traces of a memory here. Tsuzuki's memory. When Hisoka sat down he could feel it more clearly. It was him and Tsuzuki sitting down in the grass. He was silent and looking down at his feet and Tsuzuki was projecting concern. "Do you feel it?" Tsuzuki's voice interrupted Hisoka. "Hai I feel it very clearly. We've been here once before but I can't remember any of it." Tsuzuki looked down at the grass. "Do you want me to tell you about how you acted? How we were?" Hisoka looked up. "Yes I want to know please tell me Tsuzuki I want to know everything about us." Tsuzuki turned to face Hisoka.

"Let's see. Well I told you how we have been partners for a couple of years. I'll tell you all about your personality. When I first met you I thought you were a bit of a brat. You were a new Shinigami then and you had been tricked into being my partner. It was our first case and you got captured by your murderer. I didn't want to lose another partner so I went and helped you." Tsuzuki smiled down at Hisoka.

"Before I knew it we were gradually getting closer. You started to relax around me a bit more and you started to fit in. We first got close on the Queen Camellia case. You had a very hard time on that case. We had to look after a girl named Tsubaki and at the end of the case she requested that you kill her. You took it very hard and sobbed in my arms the whole way home. I thought I had failed you because you were starting to retreat into yourself again. So I took you here so I could apologize to you for leaving you there and getting you hurt." Tsuzuki looked very guilty at this point.

"You assured me though that it wasn't my fault and we started going back to normal again. The time that made us closer than ever was the Kyoto case. This time it was you comforting me. I was told I wasn't human and it was very hard on me and I nearly lost my sanity because of it. But you helped me out of it. When I ran out of the bar you followed me and reassured me that I was human. When I was captured and tried to take my own life you held onto me and planned to die with me." Tsuzuki kissed the top of Hisoka's head.

"It was at that time that I realized you were very important to me and that I had to protect you in case it happened again. You wanted to get stronger too so we went into Gensoukai. But that didn't turn out very well. Your first Shiki died and right after that your illness started. I still blame myself for your illness. I just think if only I hadn't lost you there maybe this wouldn't have happened. So I need to apologize to you Hisoka. I'm so sorry for making you suffer."

Hisoka grasped Tsuzuki's hand. "It's not your fault Tsuzuki. It's not your fault at all. Please don't blame yourself. I know I mean a lot to you and you mean an awful lot to me too so please don't hurt yourself anymore." Hisoka pulled Tsuzuki into a hug. "Thank you for caring about me and for telling me everything." Tsuzuki returned the hug and the two just held each other in the field. Neither one wanted to let go of the other.

Hiroki had gotten himself into a right mess. He was locked in the basement of the Kurosaki house. He cursed himself for being such an idiot but he couldn't help it. When he saw Nagare he could not stop the burning anger that manifested inside of him. He felt true hatred towards the man. He was satisfied though to see the stunned look on his face when he'd turned up at the Kurosaki house. But his vengeance hadn't yet gone as well as he hoped. He would get himself out of it though. And he swore to himself that when he busted himself out of this goddamn cage he would definitely give Nagare what he deserved a long time ago.

The bars of the cage were not very strong and he had hit it several times already. He was feeling it begin to weaken. He guaranteed that he'd be out within the next couple of hours. And finally a couple of hours later he was out after about two weeks of being cooped up in there he'd managed with a lot of hard work to break the stupid cage. He didn't think it was that strong anyway after Rui had spent some time in there. He felt proud of himself finally he could go and get his revenge now.

Slowly with pure determination he made his way back to the Kurosaki main house. It was time to settle this once and for all. For everything Hisoka and himself had suffered Nagare was going to pay for it big time. He'd had enough of being a powerless creature he was going to make Nagare suffer for everything, for the sake of their lives for the sake of their true family. Hiroki would not lose. He would get everything back all the precious memories. He would save them. He swore on it. He would not break his promise. Opening the door he was led to his fate...


	12. Hiroki vs Nagare

"_Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe. Sometimes I need you to stay away from me. Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know. Somehow I need you to go. Don't stay forget our memories, forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into (just give me myself back and don't stay). Forget our memories forget our possibilities. Take all your faithlessness with you (just give me myself back and don't stay). _

_Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well. Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself. Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know. Somehow I need to be alone. Don't stay forget our memories, forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into (just give me myself back and don't stay). Forget our memories forget our possibilities. Take all your faithlessness with you (just give me myself back and don't stay)._

_I don't need you anymore; I don't want to be ignored. I don't need one more day of you wasting me away. I don't need you anymore; I don't need one more day of you wasting me away (with no apologies). Don't stay forget our memories, forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into (just give me myself back and don't stay). Forget our memories forget our possibilities. Take all your faithlessness with you (just give me myself back and don't stay). Don't stay, don't stay..."_

(Don't stay Linkin Park)

Hiroki charged into the room. Nagare Kurosaki looked up shock evident on his face. "You! What are you doing back in here?" "I'm here to do what somebody should have done a long time ago I'm going to fucking kill you!" "Such language from the child that looks like the demon that was my son." "Shut up! I'm going to kill you, you bastard! You put us through so much shit and I promise I will defeat you!"

Nagare drew out his sword. "Very well brat I'll be your opponent." Hiroki grabbed a sword hanging from the wall. The two stared each other down until Hiroki made the first move. He ran towards Nagare preparing to strike but Nagare defended himself. Many people had gathered to watch the fight. The only thing that gave Hiroki determination was saving Hisoka. In the couple of months he was in Meifu Hisoka had become his older brother.

He had to protect Hisoka and the rest of his family. He couldn't afford to give up now. They had finally found something to live for; they had finally found the place they belonged. Like hell was he going to give that up. They weren't alone anymore. Tsuzuki was there along with Watari, Tatsumi Konoe, Terazuma, Wakaba, everyone at the Judgement Bureau were all there they had finally found a family.

So Hiroki couldn't let all that go not now, not ever his family needed him he couldn't lose not to something as pathetic as memory loss, he refused to die from that. 'I've died already but I cannot afford to die again in such a way!' Hiroki thought as he continued to strike Nagare. Nagare was pretty powerful he was the head of the Kurosaki family and a swords master and Hiroki was memories made up into an eight year old child's form. But Hiroki was determined that he was going to defeat Nagare so they didn't have to suffer anymore.

Hiroki found he had an incredible amount of energy while he was fighting Nagare. He'd been injured and yet he was still standing and he was still fighting. Nagare was a good opponent. Hiroki was enjoying this fight he loved having a tough opponent. Hiroki would not lose he would guarantee it. "I will stop you Nagare! I will go back to the warm place. The place where I belong!" He geared up for the finishing blow.

Tsuzuki and Hisoka continued to rest in the park. Tsuzuki was holding Hisoka and Hisoka was fast asleep Tsuzuki kept thinking about all the times Hisoka had held him and all the times he had been there for him. Tsuzuki loved Hisoka more than anything and he desired him so much but yet he didn't want to take advantage of him. He felt Hisoka tremble. Tsuzuki looked down and saw Hisoka looking up at him his emerald eyes had tears in them. "Hisoka..." Tsuzuki started but Hisoka took off.

Tsuzuki found him by a tree crying his eyes out. "Tsuzuki doesn't need me. There's no way Tsuzuki'd ever want me here with him, he just wants the old me back." He mumbled to himself. "Hisoka... You're wrong there. Regardless of who you are right now I want you here by my side." Hisoka looked up. "Tsuzuki..." He whispered. Tsuzuki claimed Hisoka's lips with his own.

WARNING LEMON IS COMING UP...

The kiss became heated and passionate. Tsuzuki's tongue caressed Hisoka's. Hisoka moaned into the kiss and then Tsuzuki teleported them both into the bedroom. He pushed Hisoka onto the bed and climbed over him. "Ah Tsuzuki! Nnn!" Hisoka moaned again. Hisoka was starting to get hard. "This turns you on baby?" Tsuzuki asked. "Ah yes! God yes! Tsuzuki I need you inside me right now!" "As the princess wishes." Tsuzuki teased.

Tsuzuki took off Hisoka's clothing kissing his jaw line and neck and collar bone. "Tsu-Tsuzuki ah!" Hisoka started taking off Tsuzuki's clothing too. Tsuzuki hardened. When the clothes were off Tsuzuki prepared them both then slid inside Hisoka's entrance. Hisoka moaned loudly. Tsuzuki thrust into Hisoka. "Hah! Hah Tsuzuki more please! Ahhhh!" "Hush baby let me make love to you." He began to thrust harder. Hisoka kept moaning. Hisoka claimed Tsuzuki's lips their tongues meeting each others again. Hisoka cried out then climaxed Tsuzuki followed after.

Tsuzuki rolled off Hisoka panting. Hisoka laid his head on Tsuzuki's chest and listened to his heart beat. "Tsuzuki?" "Yes honey what is it?" "I love you..." "I love you too baby I always have done. Hisoka smiled knowing that he had felt like this before and then he fell asleep...


	13. I remember

"_Haru ni saku hana natsu hirogaru sora yo. Kokoro no naka ni. Kizamarete kirameku. Asa ni furu ame mado o tozasu hi ni mo. Mune ni afureru hikari wa kumo no ue. Yorokobi kanashimi subete idaite aruite iru. Watashi no te to kimi wo te o. Tsuyoku tsunagu mono._

_Aki wa mizube ni fuyu kozue ni hisomu. Sekai no oku no. Kagirinai yasashi sa. Yoru ga kuru tabi inori o sasageyou. Ashita kuru hi wo shizukani mukaeyo. Watashi o michibiku tooi, tooi yobigoe yo. Hohoemu yo ni utau yo ni hibiku kaze no oto. Yorokobi kanashimi subete idaite aruite iru. Watashi no te to kimi no te o. Tsuyoku tsunagu mono..."_

_Flowers bloom in spring oh, the sky spreads in summer. They're engraved and sparkling in my heart. Rain falls in the morning when on a day when I shut the window. The light overflowing to my chest is from above the clouds. Joy and sorrow I hold everything close while I'm walking. They're things that firmly join my hand and your hand together._

_Autumn is at the waterside winter lurks at the treetop. There's a boundless kindness deep in the world. Every time when night comes let's offer a prayer. Let's quietly greet the day to come tomorrow. Oh, a voice calling out from far, far away guides me. As if it smiles, as if it sings, the sound of wind echoes. Joy and sorrow I hold everything close while I'm walking. They're things that firmly join my hand and your hand together._

(Ashita Kuru hi- from the Kobato soundtrack)

Hiroki charged at Nagare preparing himself for the finishing blow. The attack that would finally end it all. Hiroki aimed for Nagare's heart. Nagare tried to dodge but Hiroki tripped him. Nagare fell onto his back and Hiroki leaned over him his sword pointing at his heart. With his hands trembling Hiroki brought the sword down and stabbed Nagare in the chest. "Tell me where are our memories?" Hiroki snarled. "They are kept in my room."Nagare gasped. Hiroki pulled the sword out of Nagare and stood up. "Now you can no longer hurt us Nagare Kurosaki." Hiroki said coldly while Rui ran over to Nagare sobbing over his dying body.

Hiroki went to the room and he finally found them. He found all of Hisoka's Shinigami memories and he had finally done it. He had saved them both from a horrible death. Triumphant Hiroki set off back to Meifu back to his family. Back to the people that were precious to him...

Hisoka and Tsuzuki were standing at the office window together Tsuzuki had his arm around Hisoka's waist and Hisoka was resting his head on Tsuzuki's shoulder. They could hear a distant voice singing a familiar song. "Ano umi dokomademo aokatta tookumade. Ano michi dokomademo tsuzuiteta massuguni." Tsuzuki and Hisoka saw from outside a child running across the field. They knew immediately who it was and teleported outside. Hiroki ran towards them beaming. Tsuzuki and Hisoka both caught him and they all hugged each other happy to be reunited.

"I did it Tsuzuki, Hisoka. I got the memories back. Nagare is dead he can't hurt us anymore." "Thank you Hiroki. Thank you so much." Hisoka said choking on his tears. Hiroki gave Hisoka his memories back. It felt warm to Hisoka and everything came back to him. He turned to Tsuzuki tears streaming down his cheeks. "Asato...ASATO!" He cried throwing his arms around him sobbing. "Asato I love you so much!" Tsuzuki felt himself crying with him. "I know baby I know." He murmured stroking Hisoka's hair.

Hiroki was glowing. "It's time for me to go back to where I belong now." Everyone was gathering around at this point having heard Hisoka crying. "I truly thought of you all as my family. I will never forget your kindness. Tsuzuki promise me you'll take care of Hisoka Nii-san." "Always..." Tsuzuki replied. Hiroki smiled faintly. "Hisoka you're strong keep staying that way but rely on Tsuzuki every once in a while too okay?" Hisoka nodded a small smile on his face. Hiroki started vanishing. "Goodbye everyone. Thank you for everything..." Hiroki disappeared.

Hiroki was now back to being a part of Hisoka. Hisoka felt that Hiroki really was his brother but he knew this wasn't really goodbye. 'Thank you Hiroki for saving me...' Hisoka thought and he knew Hiroki could hear him. Now Hisoka could finally have a long happy life with Tsuzuki the life he had always wanted. Tsuzuki invited him out to their favourite spot at that park they went to when Hisoka had lost his memories he told him he had something important he wanted to ask him.

Hisoka arrived and he could feel Tsuzuki was nervous. He didn't understand why though. He was feeling anxious himself. He wondered what Tsuzuki was going to ask him. Tsuzuki motioned for Hisoka to come and sit down next to him. Hisoka did just that and looked at Tsuzuki curiously. "What is it Tsuzuki?" "Hisoka you are so important to me. You're the love of my life, my best friend and everything I've ever wanted. What I'm about to ask you is not something you have to agree with but I've wanted this for quite sometime now." "Then ask me I'm getting quite worried here." Tsuzuki pulled out a ring box. Hisoka gasped. "Hisoka Kurosaki will you marry me?"

Hisoka sat there trembling, tears streaming down his face."Hisoka?" Hisoka threw his arms around him in a hug. "Yes! Yes I will marry you!" Hisoka choked out. Tsuzuki pulled away kissing Hisoka passionately on the lips. He could feel Hisoka's tears on his cheeks and felt his own too. He stood up and hugged Hisoka again lifting him off his feet. They made love for the third time that night feeling like they were completely joined together. Hisoka couldn't believe it he finally had another chance at life. Now he could live it to the fullest. His new life as Hisoka Tsuzuki...

"_Ichiban sukina anohito waratteru..." _


End file.
